#HarshTruths: You’re Never Going To Find Someone Who Will Love You

You’re Never Going To Find Someone Who Will Love You

Those were the words that shattered my heart and my whole world to pieces.

Shattered to the point that it was impossible to put it back together especially when it came from the person who once told you they loved you and they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you.

As much as I didn’t want to accept it, I was too hurt to even process it. Well, you know that feeling when the person you love abandons you – you feel ugly, undesirable.. UNLOVABLE.

I replayed his words in my head over and over until I had no choice but to believe it.

“Maybe he’s right? Nobody’s going to love me because I’m ugly. He stopped loving me.”

 

BAM! Just like that I lost my self respect, my self love and along with that was the hope that I’ll find love nor will I feel loved ever again.

I tried to date here and there, just to escape the boredom and put a temporary patch on this blackhole that’s sucking the life out of me yet nothing seemed to click. I felt so numb inside.

They didn’t make me feel anything, not an electrical charge, not a spark.

For a few years, I was mindlessly cruisin through life. Surviving each day. I tried to work on myself even though a part of me was reluctant. So, while half of me was trying. The other half was just wasting away.

Until one day, the hopeful half of myself had this crazy idea that, maybe, that’s why I can’t find anyone who suited me because he’s probably living on the other side of the world?

 

 

Crazy. Right? But I played along…

I signed up for an online dating site and I created a check list with characteristics of the person that I specifically wanted.

“What’s the harm? It’s just for fun.” I thought.

As I was scrolling through the results page, enter this blonde guy with cutest smile and huge biceps 😍😍😍

I felt like I just HAD to send him a message and I did. When he replied, right then and there, I knew he was my soulmate… THE ONE.

I was right because in a short time that I’ve known him, I felt like I’ve known him for years.

 

 

✨He gave me everything I didn’t even know I needed. I used to feel like I was a zombie, but the mere sound of his laughter brought me back from the dead. Everything I lost the first time, I got it all back. I found answers to my questions that I was too afraid to ask and even the ones I haven’t even asked. Most importantly, he helped me put my heart back together and got it to beat again.

Now, we are happily married and working towards a goal which is to help people realize their worth and potential so they can create a life they love. Wish us luck!🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

So, how do you exactly know if the person in front of you is your soulmate?

 

 

🌸 There’s a feeling in your gut, an inexplicable magnetic pull that lures you towards them. Like you have to know them.
🌸 They make you feel good about yourself. Your soulmate makes you fall in love with who you are warts and all!
🌸 They love everything that you don’t like about yourself – it’s contagious!
🌸 Your soulmate accepts all of you. From your shitty past down to your weirdest quirks.
🌸 Your connection is more than just physical attraction. It’s so deep that it you’re both connected mentally, emotionally and spiritually you feel your soul orgasm without even touching. It’s a feeling so profound that you can actually feel the cells in your body align like you’ve never felt it before.

 

🌸 When you’re with them, you are at peace.
🌸 They believe in you which makes you believe in yourself and make you do things that you thought you never could.
🌸 Your minds are always on the same page. You have the same values and beliefs that even when you disagree with each other, you easily bounce back from the disconnection and see things eye to eye again.
🌸 You’ll start to understand and see the deeper meaning of life and what your purpose is.
🌸 You start to raise your standards on how you treat yourself and how others should treat you.
🌸 You work towards a common goal.
🌸 You recognize your potential even more and while you are pretty much capable of accomplishing things on your own, you’re stronger together working as a team than you are far apart.
🌸 Your life gains stability and direction.
🌸 Your soulmate motivates you to be the best that you can be until you realize how powerful and wonderful you are as a human being when you’re being authentically and unapologetically YOU.

 

Major takeaways from this experience?

🌈 Never lose hope on love and life.
🌈 When you know what you want and you ask for it specifically, it will be given to you especially when you’re ready for it.
🌈 No matter what happens, never give up on yourself and always keep working on YOU.
🌈 Accept your flaws and always be authentic – quirks and all!

 

If ever someone tells you that same bullshit, you can tell that motherfucker to go fuck themselves because remember somebody said it to me, too and hell, I found someone 1 million times better. Don’t lose hope! You are worthy of love and more.

Join my group on Facebook to be a part of an empowering community –> Positive Lifestyle Hacks Community: Be Empowered & Live Your Dreams

 

#NoFucksGiven: 8 Amazing Things That’ll Happen To You When You Do Whatever The Fuck You Want

Basic principle: Do whatever the fuck you want to do in life and don’t take shit from anybody. It is a two-step guide to being happy.

“But.. But.. It’s not that easy. :(”

I understand how difficult it is to break free from the shackles of giving a fuck. It isn’t like we have a “don’t give a shit” toggle that we can switch on and off whenever we feel like it. Caring about what other people think about us goes deeper within ourselves than we think.

There’s a part of our brain called the ventral striatum which lights up with activity whenever we feel rewarded. The feeling of being rewarded can be very addictive. You know the thousands of likes you get on your photo on Facebook or Instagram? Yeah, that’s a form of receiving validation/approval. Every ‘like’ you get feels like a reward. For every time we receive validation and approval from others, the ventral striatum lights up like fireworks on the fourth of July.

Putting all that science aside, let’s focus on the external factors that we can easily identify or relate to.

You tend to care about what others think and you seek their approval because….

  • You were surrounded by people who were highly critical and no matter what you do, nothing is good enough.
  • You’re so hard on yourself and you disapprove most of what you do. This has caused you to you turn to others for approval to make yourself feel okay. Just okay.
  • You find yourself doing things that you don’t actually like. You’re just doing it to appease that son of a bitch who doesn’t want to accept you for who you are.

Am I hitting a nerve? No? Let me poke and prod a little more…

  • You suppressed or broke up with your true self in order to fit in their cheap and misguided definition of ‘cool’ or ‘awesome’.
  • You’ve spent some number of years making an ass out of yourself to please and impress people.
  • You can’t afford to disagree with others or stand up for yourself because you’re too afraid they’ll stop liking you.
  • You think you’re so defective and unlovable. At some point, you believed that you are only worthy of love if others showed you, at least, breadcrumbs of approval.

Any of these sound familiar?

I’ve got good news and bad news.

BAD NEWS:

It appears that you have a bad case of the ‘validation addiction’.

GOOD NEWS:

Hope springs eternal. I will not stop writing until we get that shit out of your system. It is my mission to help you shake the need to give a fuck about those ingrates who don’t deserve to be graced by your presence in their lives.

Guess what?

You are more than enough, you’re wonderful, you are lovable and you’re definitely not defective. We will meet people who won’t like who we are and the way we are, but that does not mean we are undesirable. People, like us, who are odd, unique and just outside the criteria of being normal are an “acquired taste”.

An acquired taste grows on you. It is something you need to experience, try or get to know better before you realize that you actually like it. Not everyone will bother to experience or get to know the “acquired taste” and that’s fine. Frankly, not everyone has good taste anyway.

That’s not on you. They’re the ones missing out.

Do not let other people dictate you of your own worth or value. They can tell you what they think, but you are not obliged to care about their opinion.

While not giving a fuck can be really good for you, there are some things you need to remember:

1.) Not caring about what others say about you means it doesn’t bother you one bit. You entertain their thought, but you don’t have to accept it. It doesn’t offend you because they’re just opinions and not facts.

2.) Being dismissive of others and their feelings is not what being unfuckwithable is. That’s just being an asshole. We don’t want that.

We just need to get to that sweet spot where we are completely unburdened by what others say and think, but still be able to remain humble, compassionate and empathetic.

We’ll get there, but first, we need to understand why not giving a fuck is going to be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make. I’m going to do my best to motivate you to go this route.

1.) Say Goodbye To Fear And Worrying

Do you remember that outfit that you really liked? Yeah, but you didn’t wear it because you were worried people were going to criticize it. So, you wore something else that was really uncomfortable. How about those times that you had to watch what you say because you were afraid of being judged negatively for having an opinion? Yes, those things are not worth worrying about.

Be YOU. Wear what you want to wear. Say what you want to say, but with respect. We don’t humiliate people.

2.) You Have More Time To Focus On Your Needs So You Can Grow And Improve Yourself

Worrying takes a huge amount of our time. But as soon as you stop worrying about the opinion of others, you are able to give yourself more time and energy. More time and energy that you can spend on focusing your needs and evaluating your strengths and weaknesses. You can make time for yourself to take care of YOU. This is a time you can use to get to know yourself so you can figure out which of your qualities you need to change and improve. This way, you can grow into a better and happier version of yourself.

3.) FREEDOM

You are unburdened whether people like you or not, you don’t feel the need to please them anymore. It’s okay. You can freely express who you really are and you are embracing the real you. That gives you a feeling of fulfillment. That’s what matters.

4.) Attract People With The Same Vibe 

Since you’ve learned to accept who you are, you no longer feel the need to fit in. You won’t be attracting people who will take advantage of you and exploit your need to be accepted. Instead, you will attract your tribe. Ones who have the same likes or hobbies. You don’t have to work your way in because you naturally belong there.

5.) You’ll Be More Productive

You’ve reconciled with yourself and that also means you’re comfortable in your own skin. You’ll feel more confident and you’ll be more productive. Instead of seeking approvals, you’ll be seeking more opportunities where you can grow. You’re no longer self-conscious, so you won’t feel pressured or nervous to perform effectively. You get more things done.

6.) You’re Happier

You’re no longer affected by the criticisms and hurtful opinions of people who don’t care about you. They spit it out, but their comments just bounces right off. So, if you’re not sad or hurt… What are you feeling? Happy. And knowing that you’re impenetrable and you can do whatever the fuck you want makes you HAPPIER. *wink*

7.) You Will Fall In Love With Yourself

When you’re happier and more confident, you’re also a lot nicer and more loving not only to other people. You’re nicer and more loving to yourself as well. This positive change that you brought out of yourself will make you fall in love with the new and improved YOU.

8.) Your Aura Will Be Intoxicating

Have you ever met someone who is so happy, confident and nice that you just want to be around them and their positivity? That’s also going to be YOU. You don’t need to seek for approval, validation or acceptance. You enjoy your own company, you are fun to be around with, people will naturally gravitate towards you. They want to hang out with you and they want to be infected by your positive vibe and energy.

Conclusion

Pulling the plug on giving any fucks is difficult and if it was easy, everyone would do it, right? And do you know what they say about things that are difficult to do? The results are going to be worth it.

You can’t just give up caring overnight. It’s a continuous practice that you do everyday until it becomes something that’s NATURAL to you.

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